因此我嘲笑我自己，把我的秘密在玩笑中打碎。

人总是在过后才知道当时自己行为的意义。

我多想时间永远停留在那个中午，

我那么忙乱，那么紧张到发抖，

又那么……兴奋和甜蜜，那么充满了对最美好时刻的憧憬，

那么浑然不知——心碎将至。

  我想要对你说出我要说的最深的话语，我不敢，我怕你哂笑。
  因此我嘲笑自己，把我的秘密在玩笑中打碎。
  我把我的痛苦说得轻松，因为怕你会这样做。

  我想对你说出我要说的最真的话语，我不敢，我怕你不信。
  因此我弄假成真，说出和我的真心相反的话。
  我把我的痛苦说得可笑，因为我怕你会这样做。

  我想用宝贵的名词来形容你，我不敢，我怕得不到相当的酬报。
  因此我给你苛刻的名字，而夸示我的硬骨。
  我伤害你，因为怕你永远不知道我的痛苦。

  我渴望静默地坐在你的身旁，我不敢，怕我的心会跳到我的唇上。
  因此我轻松地说东道西，把我的心藏在语言的后面。
  我粗暴地对待我的痛苦，因为我怕你会这样做。

  我渴望从你身边走开，我不敢，怕你看出我的懦怯。
  因此我随随便便地昂着走到你的面前。
  从你眼里频频掷来的刺激，使我的痛苦永远新鲜。

I long to speak the deepest words I have to say to you; but I
dare not, for fear you should laugh.
That is why I laugh at myself and shatter my secret in jest.
I make light of my pain, afraid you should do so.

I long to tell you the truest words I have to say to you; but I
dare not, being afraid that you would not believe them.
That is why I disguise them in untruth, saying the contrary of
what I mean.
I make my pain appear absurd, afraid that you should do so.

I long to use the most precious words I have for you; but I dare
not, fearing I should not be paid with like value.
That is why I gave you hard names and boast of my callous
strength.
I hurt you, for fear you should never know any pain.

I long to sit silent by you; but I dare not lest my heart come
out at my lips.
That is why I prattle and chatter lightly and hide my heart
behind words.
I rudely handle my pain, for fear you should do so.

I long to go away from your side; but I dare not, for fear my
cowardice should become known to you.
That is why I hold my head high and carelessly come into your
presence.
Constant thrusts from your eyes keep my pain fresh for ever.